I have been reading books on the war that last few months. mainly books written about the families. Being on the Care Team here is something that I really want to do. Up until we moves here I was very active in everything. when we got here I was very pregnant and just didn't like the FRG. During the first deployment we bought a house off post and I kept to myself away from all the drama of the going on's. Our 1Sgt wife is the Care Team leader and I was asked if I wanted to be on it. I have a problem saying no. Anyway we have been doing our training and that has included role playing. It has been hard to do because you know it is not real. That brings me to reading the books. I just finished the book The Long Road Home. There were several pages in the book about the Care Team at Fort Hood being activated in April 2003 or better known as "Black Sunday" I cried through most of it but it really gave me an insight as to how the care team that goes into a move felt when they went in. I can pray that our Care Team here is never activated, but like my husband always tells me " I can tell myself that all my men will come home but I would be lieing to myself knowing that I will lose someone" I know cant even begin to tell him I understand how you feel and the burden that he carries.
We do not talk about the deployment. Not ever! Sometimes I really wish that he would. all I can do is say a prayer every minute of the day that when he is over there that he comes home to us. I find no comfort in the up coming deployment. I know no matter what I do to keep busy I wont deal well it all. Others my think and I have it all together and can deal very well with deployments. That I don't need others help and can do just fine. Little do they know what really goes on behind closed doors or at the end of the day when it is so very cold and very dark out. I cry myself to sleep, sleep that never really comes. I jump every time I hear car. I jump in the middle of the night when the phone rings. Waiting before I answer, thinking who in the hell would be calling at this hour, other then someone to say my husband has been hurt. Then after answering it hearing his every tired voice say "hi darlin" and then everything is okay for the time being......I still cant believe that in a few weeks he will not be at home, he will be other there.....
Saturday, July 26, 2008
A little reading
Thursday, July 24, 2008
1 Month 23 Days Until Boots in the Sand AGAIN...
M has been gone at NTC for what seems like forever. It has really only been about 3 weeks. Now that really isn't that long. The kids and I have tried to keep busy. I have been busy with care team meetings. I still wonder how I am going to do it if the time comes. I cant help but think it is going to be me who will need the care team. God I hope not!!! I still don't know how to deal with this up coming deployment. I just don't want to!!! I put up a good front to all that it is really not that hard and no big deal. Ya right.....
Saturday, July 5, 2008
It has been a long time
Well M left for NTC 430am on the 4Th of July. This was all a flash back from the first deployment. I took him to the until about noon on the 3rd. Okay on big deal it is only for a month. It was a very long day with the kids. All the flash backs of hating having to be a single parent again. Now I know he had only been gone about 12 hours when I get a call about 11pm that night "guess where I am" the plane never left! It had broke down and they were all sitting in the bus on the runway waiting for it be fixed after a few hours when it couldn't they were all sent home for 4 hours. It was nice to have him home for at least a few hours again. 
